Time for another ramble!
So I am about halfway through my 3 weeks of stress leave from work and it has been so great. In fact each time I think about going back to work a level of the stress comes flowing back. It’s nothing like it was before and the stress isn’t because the job is hard to handle but it’s simply the fact that I don’t want to lose this spark that I’ve found again.
In hindsight I can see that I gave up a large portion of my personality to do the work that I do. I’m a very social person but felt that I “had” to be a lot less social in order to do a good job. While I was accurate in dialing back some of my social activities I realize that I went a bit too far. Slowly over the years I cut out people and opportunities because I was worried it would distract me or make me too tired. Now my circle of friends has shrunk in this city to the point where it’s difficult to meet new people. I am working on solving this as I have joined some groups from www.meetup.com but it sure makes me shake my head that I am at this place in my life!
I’m not overly sad or morose about it, in fact it’s kind of humorous. I used to barely be able to sit by myself for more than an hour. Now I spend a lot of time alone and feel fine, for the most part. My sister who used to always spend time alone has such a busy life that it’s hard to nail her down for a phone conversation! hahaha. The tables turned.
I have spent my time off doing a lot of exercising and I am having a blast. I am not as strong as I once was but I am more willing to try things. It’s revived my youthfulness. My body is grounding me and the stronger it feels the more stable my emotions feel. This is something that I have believed for years; Our body is tightly linked to our emotional, mental and even spiritual ‘bodies’. I thought I was doing enough physical activity but it seems that I needed to play a bit more.
I think a part of me worries that I might lose this drive for play once I go back to work. So I somehow need to incorporate some of this physical play into my work (which I think I can do so especially now that it’s summer) and I need to continue to do things outside of work. I don’t want my schedule to become so incredibly predictable where it’s work, yoga, home. I NEED it to include other things with new people.
You can google and read up on all the things that people consider helpful in leading a healthy life and they always include doing new things. It could be meeting new people, trying new food, doing a new activity or anything else that you haven’t done before. I am more than happy to be doing that, I just need to be sure to have people to do it with!
So no more cutting people out of my life. Time to say yes a lot more!
I am going to explore some things, hopefully, with my boss at work to see how we can possibly revive my job. It’s been the same old, same old for over 5 years now. Plus I am going to hunt a bit more for a new position that could possibly give me that new challenge that I need. Gotta open doors to see what’s behind them!
I hope that whoever reads this is out there making sure that their life is fun, exciting and challenging! Learn from those who are in the midst of difficulty and try not to repeat it 🙂Love & Light