I’m giggling at my witty title. Oh how the little things can make me smile! hahaha
I rushed home after my shift at the bookstore today to try to make it to a yoga class but had looked at the wrong time and so missed the class. Then I thought I’d go sit in a coffee shop or some place to write a bit but the few places I looked up were closed. I knew I didn’t drink enough water today so I decided not to push my asana practice today (I did a few sun salutations this morning) and take the hint at these silly barriers to doing what I ‘want’ to do and opted to treat myself to a long relaxing shower then I’ll head off to bed early so I am fresh and rested for morning meditation and hatha yoga tomorrow morning.
So why my witty title for today’s post? Well, I was thinking about how sore my feet are from standing on them ALL DAY LONG and how I feel remarkably refreshed. Physically tired of course but easily manageable at this point.I am ok with sore feet, it is a nice refreshing shift from how I used to feel in my other job (in the last few years). Nothing compares to emotional exhaustion. That is trickier to bounce back from. I am grateful for my past work experience and know that I will always draw from it and quite possibly will continue to work in it in some capacity. Just not 40+ hours a week. After a day of so much emotional output I would come home and barely be able to decide what to feed myself. It was usually cereal, yogurt or pasta. Not all that healthy but certainly kept me going. Exercise was near impossible and a social life was often sacrificed.
The emotional exhaustion made it difficult to deal with the curveballs that life likes to throw us every now and again. Much less being able to support friends or loved ones in their troubles. I could not give what I did not have. So, at this point in life I am fully enjoying slowing down and filing books on a shelf or learning a new computer catalogue system. I am busier then I was when I was working full time but I enjoy what I am doing. The hustle and bustle of city life is not as repulsive as it had become. Nor is it overly enticing. However there is a healthier perspective in my mind. For this I am happy and grateful.
I know I need a study buddy to really learn the sanskrit and to practice running people through a simple yoga practice (fellow yoga students at Karma teachers college I’ll be calling on you!) and I desperately want to develop my home practice however I do believe that I need to be a bit of an energy vampire and do these things in groups until I feel properly recharged. Then I can focus on my home practice. Until then I will continue to be truthful (satya) about my process and be content (santosha, I think?) with where I am.
ps. May I just bluntly say that coming back from burnout is a bitch!?! I am sooooo grateful that I have this opportunity to pause and take the time to do the work I need to do! 🙂