After many years of coasting through life and doing what seemed right I crashed and burned. Out of crashing and burning came a renewed sense of connection to my daily activities. So exciting! I became more aware, more mindful and much more appreciative of what I have. No longer am I wishing I had more material “things”. No longer am I stressed about keeping up with everyone else, nor do I care to pretend. I have what I have and that is MORE than enough.
I still have healing to do and much more learning but it’s exciting now. I get to reinvent what this adult life looks like. I get to make conscientious decisions about how I am going to spend my time. Scary. Isn’t this what being an adult is about? Why do we (myself definitely included in this generalization) get swept up and let “them” influence us? Whomever “they” are. What happened to ‘do what you want to do’ , ‘listen to you heart’ . All that lovely crap we are told when we are young. It got lost somewhere along the way for me. I suddenly found myself doing things that I didn’t mind doing but wasn’t overly jazzed about. I forgot to have fun. I forgot to play.
Well, now it is my turn. Again. Playing, being joyful, knowing that I have an impact and that I have a strength that needs to be shared has come back to me.
I am so grateful and curious what this next phase will be. I am terrified at the uncertainty. However I am still so sure that this is the direction that I am meant to go in. I have no clue if this is the final destination or if I am going to learn some things then return to what I did before. No idea, and that is okay by me. Even if I did know exactly how the rest of my life is going to turn out. The exact job, the exact travels, the exact amount of money that I will live off and where I will live. Even if I did know that for sure, things happen in life and can throw it all off course. So I’d rather not know and just be pleasantly surprised as I continue to experience the new that is around every corner.
Yoga has taught me. No wait, yoga is teaching me to slow down and look around. Look within, be mindful of decisions and love every moment. Yoga is teaching me what my physical and spiritual bodies need to feel fulfilled. I stumble with my daily practice but I am returning to it. I am learnng just how I shut off but can appear to not be shut off (hopefully that makes sense). Yoga is teaching me more about me than analyzing and answering questions has taught me. The body holds the answers. It is so bloody amazing that I am consistently aghast at what comes out. The learning, the release and the renewal that one can get just by taking time.
This journey is a long one and times can be a tedious one but it has caught my intrigue and I will follow it until I am done. Or dead. Whichever comes first!
Who wants to join me on this exploration? Lets connect, talk, share, celebrate and grow!
Until next time.